I am usually a happy smily person, who loves his friends, might be a bit bonkers but generally ok. Ok, this past few years have not been the best, my last relationship ended, that is fine, I wish my ex well and wish her, her true dreams. It was time to end when we did. Yes, I have occasionally dealt with depression, but not like this and what I did was different and I evoked really deep dark stuff. But generally life is good, thats where I started from in this experience. I was in a fairly good place but a bit bored and realising that I needed to change things in my life, I just couldn’t see what. So left to my own devices and without constant supervision, this is what I did….
Naturally and without thinking I chose the middle of a Mercury retrograde to do a road opening. My sense of timing is often unique. I ignored the books, did a ritual and called my guides to ask me what to use and to make it work. It should not be a secret that magic is not “Harry Potter” recipes, we call and ask and the spirits may (if they want to) tell us. Books of recipes are low value compared to a ritual where the process is given. It is bespoke every time. So I opened my box of essential oils, asked to be guided and made a road opening oil which I needed. It was odd, being slightly guided and feeling intuition tell me what oils to use, how many drops etc. I made one, placed it on my altar to Elen and asked for it to cook with power. You feel slightly out of control as you are guided, but it is not an unpleasant feeling at all.
Making it was enough, it plunged me into panic within about 4 hours. We all have problems in life of course, but this switched on the worst of it. I didn’t even connect until yesterday, ten days on. But the process is everything and I can be a bit dim sometimes. Of course lighting the candle a day later switched it on even more. I became aware of everything in my life and it (almost) all had to go. Three loved cats stay with me but everything else is transient and a chain around my neck. Think the Devil card in the Tarot when the people in it realise they can take off the chain, but it hurts and left me with no idea how to take off the chain. It was so dark where I stood.
There is more, there is an entanglement between physical responses and the paranormal. In my past, I did a lot of ghost hunting and these things attach so easily. I was full of ghosts all sleeping in my aura. Once I went to a psychic who saw this, back in 1998 or something. She pulled all the ghosts out of me, I could literally feel them. Then she put them back and said that she was told to, it’s my job to fix this, to learn how. I forgot, then this process started this year, I went to a talk given by a friend who walked me through a chakra raising exercise which I could not ground from, it became a kundalini experience and I literally ended up in my friends bathroom vomiting ghosts. I didnt bring them all up of course, there are layers to clear but I started the process which continued (I hope ended) with my road opener). Yesterday, standing in the darkest blackest place in my universe, it all came through and up. And I was back, myself again, feeling lighter and myself. I still realise that things need to go, the physical real world mess needs sorting. But that’s fine, its only stuff. But a switch was flicked in my head and I am myself again, whole, happy and with a lot to do.
I am umming about sharing the recipe, it actually does not matter. Its not the ingredients or the colour candle, its what my guides told me to use for me, for my problems. You can all use your own if you wanted to go through this. Do I recommend? Yes and no. I feel better but it was literal hell, literally the darkest place in the universe for a time, my darkest time.
Now, I must remember to label that bottle or road opener. I wouldn’t want to use it inadvertently. This must be the tiniest shade of what the chod ritual is like!.
Seriously I am fine, a bit cleaner, a bit wiser and in need of doing a lot of vacuuming and tidying.